It really is odd. Or so I believe. I hate being back to my single days, in which I find many guys attractive again (because when I'm in a relationship I tend to ignore how other guys look; I only have eyes for the guy I'm dating...yeah, I'm very loyal) and I act rather flirtatiously, which unnerves me, I don't know why.
Before I go on, I will explain what happened with my boyfriend (now my ex...again). He said he couldn't make me completely happy until he was happy with who he is, and he couldn't be in a relationship, blah blah. But he still loves me and I love him and for now it's weird and a bit awkward.
I swore to myself I wouldn't love anyone else if it wasn't him, and I'd wait for him because I believe we belong together. And I try, you know. But then there is the issue with these two other guys (not to mention that my ex seems to be pushing me away but not quite? I'm confused). The first one, I don't know what's going on with. Is there chemistry between us? Are you flirting with me and I should flirt back? Etc. The second one makes me feel like a pedophile because he must be, what, 15-16? Seriously. I don't think dating guys that are 2-3 years younger than me is bad, just not right now because at that age they have the emotional maturity of a Tootsie Roll.
I haven't even heard from my former boyfriend in the past days...I tried to talk to him yesterday but he was busy, and I'm thinking he might be avoiding me, which is making me angry and annoyed.
Not to mention all the schoolwork I have to do...Oh, and the fact that my best friend left for Canada today, so I am stuck best-friendless in my senior year from hell.
In general, I'm not in the best of moods.
Life is so annoying and weird right now. I don't expect anyone to understand.
Oh, and as a side note, I changed my religious and political views on Facebook from nothing to "Atheist" and "Libertarian Socialist" respectively. Let's see what kind of insults and nasty comments I get.
[Update: Talked to the ex. Yeah, he's "the ex" now. Everytime I talk to him it just gets worse. Why is he trying to get away from me when he once said he was afraid of me blocking him out of my life? He makes no sense. Nothing does. I hate this...I need to leave everyone behind, get out of here and start anew. I wish I was in college already...]
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